February 2012
7 posts
68th Street.
I write to my friend here, I hope you enjoy this.
As the sun lays down its arms
on this hot/mad- house day
my hair, in locust’s swarms.
I awake to run away.
-
Daytime is cheap change, metal
clang-calming like a lullaby
I rest in my peace, petals
of flowers now mollified.
-
The night steeps down like blue tea
I run with you, now arisen
to lights, whispering banshees.
Our minds...
As art is, I ...
Unimaginable
in who I am, upturned like
truncated trees in their prime.
I redact what I see. Cut
( in the blank space between)
-
Imago dei, how could I
resist what I am? In the
sung-carving of my poet,
I am painted like blue hills
-
The artist, the chiseler
who sketched my life in his stone,
I can ask but one question
“why marble this stone with grace?”
-
The crude...
Comets
You are like a comet
just passing by, grazing
me
We looked at each other
for just one moment out there
You
were not close but in sight
just viewing eachother briefly
Then
as comets do, seperate.
drift like space opening time
Until…
Hunger : Day 3
I am on tooth and nail for more.
Like tanks and fat aeroplanes
rusting their wheels in wait of war,
I’m planted on my windowpane.
-
I am looking for a slow sign
between the sigh and the inhale
letting go of this self, resign
to the winds of the tall, sweet gale
-
I wait for you, Lord. With brash hand,
I wait like beard-moss on the trees
I wait like rainless bad-lands,
for...
Hunger day #2
My throat is throwing around
the yells of black hellhounds
as I sit like dead trees
bereft of their leaves
-
My stomach hammers nails
into the man. Be hailed!
But I? How I? Too dead
to taste blood-body bread?
-
I break these cries now hung
like the scorched curse stays unsung
for the man who brought this black
blood curtain to draw back.
-
Rest me in hunger-sore
waiting,...
The bell had rang
is my hunger my depth?
Of a dark shallow den?
What concept of rest
shall live with till then?
-
my peace has gone heavy
O, gone at what loss!
Taken from me, that levied
black and strange cost
-
cut from my mast
I will fly like the hanged
look’d back to my past
the death bell had rang
-
I see the swells
of sea, azure rolls
I seek to dwell
In washed peace of soul
On the shores of infancy
On the shore of infancy
I wait like a branch
behind rocks at the sea line
the sea waning out
-
I feel so very futile with rocks
that crack with the waves
making sand from bad ideas
I thought so high of
-
My heart asks why I must lay?
my husk in the sun
the spray in sight, distant bliss
The shore, my prison!
-
while I wait , desiccating
watching the ocean
dancing with my...
January 2012
6 posts
celestial hums
Suit jackets and cutlery
clean cut and sharp
stand out in the dust
i just make up.
-
but standing out around
toil and symbols
is just a old bell
cracked middle.
-
sending out flowers
to four corners of man
will not reach
a central town
-
so I will be in veins of
an old abbot
charging brother
with sanded wit.
-
hoist up the flag
we declare that:
Lights and vision
are simple...
Snapshot
And I was a Kodak moment
standing in the cold rainbow
singin’ in the rain, feet on the grass
youth was massive, color was brand new
-
I drank tea, ‘cause it was in my blood
the black leaves in my greenhorn heart
my fingers relaxed, heart sat down
I fell in love with your starry hands.
-
But I was a Kodak moment
gold songs tracing on my soft feet
days are avalanches now
into your open...
Today i wanna start
a revolution
wear my beret
get my old gun
and be gone away
-
but this old fight
is nothing but old
I fight with ancients
throwing flowers
in bad arrangement
-
I fight with warmth
my gun, my dead lies
I stand beeming
blowing shit up
in Christ redeeming
second language
Im looking for myself
in this pile of rubble
where I live cold footed
-
I can now feel myself
disintergrating
like the static above
-
The love that finds it way
across my schist and shore
will not be lost again
-
free me from the hairs that
stand end on end like needles
digging quietly deep
-
anguish should not be a
second language
but like speaking in tongues
Senses 1
I want solely to feel
the bumps on your cold hands
like Neruda in Braille
so to touch worn beauty
-
talk with me, honestly
My mind lives on my ears
like an old barn house does
hearing the wind and owls
-
listen to me, I have
nothing but a stomach
full of fuzz moths flitting
around the light you put there
-
I want to taste the air
that floats like model ships
still stuck in their...
Priest and 5th
The city is ablaze
in cool jasmine light
while I wait, tongue checked
in jade arrow sight
-
I count up the hours
lived within great height
my chest feels weaker
in this jaded night
-
The jasmine lays fogged
no fear or quick flight
as I sit breathing
cross chest gone alight
-
Call my name, siren song
Call my name in night
I wish to face you now
here in this stopped fight.
December 2011
7 posts
Vinegar
I will go by
grape-vine and
vinegar
to the warm sea
bring back
the tranquil life
for you
-
I must stand
silent
street lit and tired
waiting
for the day’s bells
to ring
-
But this light
I find
Ringing with scold
It cant
give an answer
to you
-
So I catch
the deer
in their fields
hoping
their green slumber
lets you rest.
-
My arms here
are like
sanded down...
Timepieces
a swiss watch
fine and unmade
isn’t on me
but lives in me
-
When I look at it
I see great
opportunity
to loose the rifles,
and grow trees
at our feet
-
When I look at it
I wanna climb
up the clouds
grab at the stars
and fall in love.
-
When I look at it
I break inside
cause I cant
ever be close enough
-
When I look at it
I wanna cut
out my lungs
and wash them
...
Wooden Hummingbird Entry #9
Make sure that when the thunder hits, you can run. These times are like needles above our heads. Make sure that when the thunder hits, you can be far away.
The thunder is not of the sky, but of human hearts. They are mixing together, brewing a storm and creating the havoc we can only feel. My door is closed, I’m trying to avoid it. Things are breaking outside my room. I can’t be here...
Wooden Hummingbird Entry #8
i make my home in the shell of building that i didn’t make. And in that hermit shell, i make my words. i whistle them, like the toothless man telling me his stories. But i whistle them here, in the tarnished-golden spiral of this mathematical home, with nobody to listen to them. My words fall. Lead-like.
Somedays i fear my words, how they sound. i can’t figure out if anyone knows what...
Cutlass/Cutglass
I feel sick and tired, the glass- cut hands
that make me tread fowards tell me:
I want to be loved by something.
-
Now I can’t tell you about the times
where I lost all my songbooks with the
nice little windchimes in them
cause I cant bring myself to
find them
-
I wanna break these cutglass hands
and feel the beauty of your face.
Like Neruda in braille.
But these cutlass...
Wooden Hummingbird Entry #7
This cool night lays light on my hands.
I can only talk upwards in tears as I return back to where I started. I can feel everything that I have done in years past. I see the hill where I first found light.
Soon, that night will come up again. Christmas. That good night that is still everywhere. And I will be there, celebrating and finally understanding it.
But now, this cool night brings me...
Wooden Hummingbird Entry #6
The sky is ripening like a peach, as night blossoms over my car. I am driving home as I stare at it. Clouds , like cat scratches of purple and white, line the up. I see the little planes leaving here,driving eastward. They are dwarfed from distance and my mountains.
I imagine who is on those planes. I picture the plane on the inside, it is drab with fake leather and Bloody Marys. It is such a...
November 2011
20 posts
Wooden Hummingbird Entry #5
The train passing by weeps like a lost wife, dragging its dress tail mechanically. I am standing at the back of the room. My heart is nervous. I cant decide what the hell I wanna say anymore, or even if I should say anything. I could keep standing there.
The train continues to wail. I feel all of its pain at once. I’m dragging all I have behind me. And I only have one direction to go.
...
Wooden Hummingbird Entry #4
I would like to start clearing the dust from the shelves of my lungs. I want to break free of my old breath. I want out.
I want out of falling for ideas, and not for people. I want out of sculpting my thoughts, making them unapproachable. I want out of making math equations that don’t end. It only brews pain, and nowadays brews it weak.
I live in the un-passable col between my ideas and...
Wooden Hummingbird Entry #3
The wind brings me great stories. It says great wisdom. It leaves out all that I dont need.
Tonight, as with many nights, it gives me one word: Wait.
I never understand what it means, or why the earthquakes or storms couldnt tell me. But it tells me, and says gently and breeze like:Wait.
I wait for a long time for what else it has to say, it is all it has to say. The word came on the wind and...
Wooden Hummingbird Entry #2
The night is like a blackboard with old words calligraphed on it.
I sometimes wish that I could decipher what the stars have been saying to me all these years. I feel for them, they must live in incredible pain. They give all that they have for eternity, only to be thanked by destruction.
I spell out their names that I don’t know, I wonder about their lives. I wonder about the sounds...
Wooden Hummingbird Entry #1
I have been breathing through the cool air of this garden for 15 minutes now. It is afternoon as the statue of St. Francis stares at his feet next to me. The wind isn’t present. It is calm. She speaks to me, asks me about school. I can’t tell her all the particulars. I am alone there, I learn. I just tell her the highlights.I can’t give every bit of info to my grandmother. And...
tell me the truth
My hands are shaking
as I carve
“Kyrie, Kyrie eleison”
straight into my palms
-
Tell me Im right
tell me all
tell me the truth
My blood will dry
-
I cant ever know
the chambers
in my coal singed
heart, like you can
-
hollow them out
fill them in
with the colour of
the waterfalls
-
Tell me the truth
let me fall
with my hands bloody
into your living ones.
-
...
Eagles.
The eagles
they tell me their secrets
about the sun
and its light
-
The tell me
that the sun is touching me
Physically
like feathers
-
Its hands
grab at my eyes and march me
wherever
they may
-
The secrets
the eagles tell to me
reveal new
mysteries
I’ll never solve.
-
How I long
To see the world from above
just as
they always will.
Struggle
Im looking for God
not symbols of him
Im looking for a man
on a cross
not someone you wear
round your neck
Im looking under rocks
in the big trees
in my dying skin hands
Im not looking
in the cheap talk
of hollywood pains
-
Im tired of all
these people
singing songs of
worship they dont know.
men aren’t kings
unless they know pain.
-
I wanna look deep
like the whales...
Leaves revealed
I realize now
that time is
not imagined
but a thin sparrow
between flaps
of its wings
-
We create things
in between
beats, so we
can live our
lives
Like movies are
-
My stars are
not constant
they wave by
my black eyes
like Paris jazz
on thursdays
-
Time is my
ultimate
confusion
it burns me
all both ends
swinging me
-
I cant know
why people
take time and
put it in
...
bukowski had everything right.
I want to write angrily.
of how sick and tired
I am of writing like the
calm of sand dunes
gently swerving
on the desert
-
I want to write angrily
and tell people to fuck
themselves with all
the words I have
stockpiled.
-
I want to write angrily
to defect from
poetry
and land in the
real world
-
I want to write angrily
about injustice
and the sap
that drips from
my...
return to sender
I crave someone to write to.
To figure me out, to think my thoughts
for me.
I’ll never honestly find that.
I crave someone to write to.
Get letters in the mail from.
Someone who will listen to me ramble
about my confusions on
how thoughts get from my grey rock
to my hands
I crave someone to write to
about the sun and the moon
and how they are the best
dysfunctional couple
I...
Chess.
I live on a chess board
at the start of the match
between the sides.
-
The sun and the moon
are the chess masters.
their pieces, my mountains.
-
I live on the checks
with the pawns and foothills
kings like great peaks
-
the purple light crowns
the eastern king
the black enthrones
the southern
-
I live in a chessboard,
waiting and waiting
for the game to start
the sounds that planets make
Somedays, the light bends
gently, around your fingers
leaving me to wonder
where it goes to
-
Somedays the earth shivers
when you step upon it
I know very well
I have felt it myself
-
Somedays the sun rises fast
just to see your
beautiful face
first. Before me.
-
And on somedays
I see you laughing
and I hear the sounds
that planets make.
-
somedays, I see you
and those are...
how you are
when the rain rocks me
like the sea and sand
the shivers of the light
on ponds of dark blue
these are how you are
-
Like planes were when I
was still a bright-eyed
and browneyed young kid
flying like chrome covered swans
these are how you are
-
the leather books in
the newfound attic.
times of sepia smiles
and old black steam cars
these are how you are.
-
The wind in the sails
...
Kodak moment
And I was a Kodak moment
standing in the cold rainbow
singin’ in the rain, feet on the grass
youth was massive, color was brand new
-
I drank tea, ‘cause it was in my blood
the black leaves in my greenhorn heart
my fingers relaxed, heart sat down
I fell in love with your starry hands.
-
But I was a Kodak moment
gold songs tracing on my soft feet
days are avalanches now
...
Old Buildings
I wish I could explain
the years I have lived
but my age is aching
in my cold fingers
-
I wish I could whisper
the pains of callus
knives breaking between
the halves of the brain
-
Marble Figuirines
are not like daisies.
the crust of dead lives
cant be your work
-
I wish I could look
the ages I’ve seen
so you could see
how old buildings feel
-
Some day you will find
...
My life is not just my own
My life is not just my own.
My life is not anything near mine.
It’s been long and dragging
Continually grabbing and breaking on the way
I’ve seen the deep feels of hate
I still see them too, in the dark of night.
-
The Cash man said
“I’ve been everywhere, man”
I know how he felt.
I have been the everywhere man
I have been the dead, man.
I have been the nihilist
The violent
That hate that...
Break
I hate it how the sky screams my name. It tells me I am here, and it is there.
But still I search, beyond shades of blame. In fields of doubt. On plans of your plane.
I desperately try to find you.
-
My gut is torn between you and me, ripped silently.
Fragile trees break violently in your wind.
Im trying hard to find you
-
My back is broke in songs of change. I long to arrange
whats...
This tent I live in
This tent I live in
leaks horribly
onions and candles
do me no good
-
I can’t sew holes shut
with my white hands
without strings of lilies
made from your tears
-
this tent I live in
stands cautiously
in the breath of sun
alight by clouds
-
sit me at the edge
mark my forehead.
stand me in the back
don’t say my name.
-
the tent I live in
needs much repair
help me...
October 2011
15 posts
Scar of Lenin, Heart of Pennance
Scar of lenin
I feel caught up
in the net
of your rough hands
-
Cloth’d in linen
I seek escape
from the fold
of your rough hands
-
(Awakening)
-
tar’d and feather’d
I lay myself
in the clutch
of your rough hands
-
clear’d and better’d
I see myself
in the warmth
of your rough hands
sea (iii)
A rowboat in the tide
returns slowly
I touch the glass
of the bay
-
The grayed hands
of the shore
dont call to me
any further
-
I go to where
I came from
alone and not
in bluish green
-
talk to you,
breathe to me
I’m not lone
any further
sea (ii)
A stain exists
under my arms
it stings when I breathe.
Its been there for years
-
the stain is from my warmth
my drawn blood
swims about
in the brackish water
-
The stain tremors
in me, softly
commanding me
from forever ago
-
I wish I could feed
in the rose-coloured waves
but I know, I will not
ever again.
-
the cure for my stain
doesnt hide from my eyes
I just...
sea (i)
The crumbling tide
washes in my sadness
from seas
that seem so far away
-
A trunk of thoughts
locked
in the food I eat
in the way I walk
-
The covered time
rises
and sets
like the moon in the morning
-
I see it all faintly
noticeable
in my
minor reflection
-
I can’t help
but wonder
when these seas
will part from me
Aid
I couldn’t say if I could tell you,
truth or not.
I couldnt say if I knew it
anyway
-
All I could say
were all
the sounds
of other’s heartbeats
-
What can we share
to know
what we can share
in each other
-
My hands are not heavy
my skull feels it though
I wish to help
without weighing it down.
-
what can I learn
to find
what I can learn
from you
-
Your...
starlit revisions
The stars seem
so visible now
with you
-
No longer is night
a black fog
Indivisible and visceral
-
No longer is twilight
a slit throat
or a bruised burn
-
for now night has
changed ad aeternam
with you
-
forever longer is night
a march of songs
in liquid, dense onyx
-
forever longer is twilight
draped in curtains
of azure and orange
-
The stars are
like a vernacular now
...
My bastard mind
My bastard mind,
Amalgamted in
Groves of Good and Evil
Is why I cant sit still
before you
-
My heart is rained upon
By thoughts,
as hail.
It ripples me so
Beyond reflection
-
I feel as though
it takes
10,000
years
to smile
-
From A to B
0 to One
Shorten my mind.
-
My bastard mind
Burns oil in noon-time
gloaming and night
Blow it out.
-
From sun-up to sun-down
A...
Blood in the street
The blood courses thru my veins
like the cold winter air.
-
I cannot seem to get out of it.
-
My heart hangs below me, in a Gordian knot.
I’ve built ramparts. I’ve dug a trench.
-
I know you can break through it all.
-
let me bleed again.
Like the sun spills it’s love
-
let me bleed again
like wildflowers in the yard
-
let me bleed again
like the streetlights...
impatient sun.
Brainwashed, I am
Brainwashed under the light,
of a light-red sun.
I know this is not wanted.
-
Why must I carry on,
With my sandcliff heart,
With crystalline thoughts,
In a network of lies that intersect?
-
Can I not see that I tread on broken glass?
my feet bleed.
I continue.
stop me.
-
Cut me away at the roots.
Cut me away
Cut me away.
Cut me away.
I've hung you up
I’ve hung you up. I’ve hung up on you.
I cry about it near every day.
I’ve hung you up. I’ve hung up on you.
I will know about it every day.
I’ve hung you up. I’ve hung up on you.
I tear myself apart every day.
I’ve hung you up.I’ve hung up on you.
Cut me new,clean. Every day.
I’ve hung you up. I’ve hung up on you.
And I...